I'm finally feeling on the brink of the homecoming "home stretch" I've been awaiting for more than 12 months. I can almost taste the sweetness.
recent weeks have been filled with their fair share of ups and downs. but isn't that life? learning to savor the sweetness alongside of the heartache.
we're still solidly in Reintegration Phase I (we get Phase II in August after Philip gets back from TX and I move home). life is not without challenges but I'm clinging to the precious moments of togetherness and connectedness that Philip and I are able to steal. like the moment in the car over the weekend when we were driving home and the song "sunny and 75" came on. i can't stand country music. but I love my husband. so I tolerate it. in that moment the lyrics captured what I was overwhelmingly grateful for: an afternoon of sunshine and my husband's side. sunny and 75. (a song Philip explained that he listened to VERY frequently in the final weeks of the deployment)
recent happenings:
Easter 2014. we started the day at Arlington National Cemetery. It's a powerful place to be any day of the year, but walking through the cemetery the the morning of a holiday is particularly moving/humbling/hearbreaking. Living in DC, I've driven by Arlington almost every day for over three years - but the image of gravestones as far as the eye can see never ever ever becomes "familiar" or loses its knock-the-wind-out-of-you impact. Never.
Our Easter afternoon was spent w/ precious friends from our time in the UK. We also got to see "half" of our bests (the other "half" was TDY on an exercise) from the UK over the weekend as well. Such a blessing to clock time w/ friends who feel like family.
my birthday happened. i got some tough news the night before the birthday so the weekend felt a bit off, but i'm rebounding. i was grateful that despite feeling a bit keyed-up i got to spend the day w/ my favorite person on the planet. and there was chocolate froyo. yesssssss.
Mother's Day. I think my fb post for the day sums up my feelings and thoughts this year. . .
my feelings, reactions, and heart-felt sentiments on this Mother's Day are coming from a deep, largely nonverbal area of emotional processing. . . The truth is that I'm struggling to find the words to begin to articulate how humbled I am by the selflessness and sacrifice that characterize the love that each of the women in the picture have consistently demonstrated throughout my lifespan. The work I do affords me a unique and intimate outside perspective into the complexity and power of motherhood. The role. The relationship. The impact. For a lot of people today is a really emotionally raw day. One where grief and feelings of loss stand juxtaposed to others' celebration. Today I hold an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the connection I share with my own mother and mother-in law. I did nothing to earn or deserve you love, but it has transformed my life in a way that few other things on this earth have. My heart also is overflowing and aching for those who are missing their mothers, reminded of what they wished they had but never received, those who have lost children, and those who have been unable to become mothers for no reasonable, fair, or rational explanation despite the deepest longings in their heart to have children.
In 24 hours I will be surrounded by family. It will be wonderful. It's graduation time. It feels really surreal. But pretty awesome.
No comments:
Post a Comment