holding your breath

it's a funny thing that happens.  you get a wee bit behind, and then a wee bit turns into plain and simply behind.  and then it's been ages.  yes, that has happened.  and a lot of life and emotion has happened.  sometimes things are so intense you feel like all you can do is hold your breath. and try to swim. or float. or just not drown. well friends, i'm still holding my breath but am confident that i'm not drowning.  i've got a life preserver, so i'm looking forward to resurfacing and hope you'll join me.   i look forward to coming back to the blog as a soft space to land for processing all that lies ahead for philip and i.

i'll more fully clarify and demystify the somewhat opaqueness of that paragraph in a few weeks.  but until then, i'd love to do a bit of catching up.

my mother may or may not have been querying when i would be back in the blogosphere. and i've been spending a bit of time reading early posts from Jenny's blog journey, which started shortly before mine, and have felt nostalgic and realized that it can be a pretty tremendous gift to have a narrative account that follows the threads that weave life together year after year.  and i don't want to lose that.  the last 2 years my blogging habits have changed.  80% because of time and stress, but I think an important 20% because of a professional and personal shift of having to be extra cognizant of what aspects of life I need to become more protective of than I had maybe needed to previously.  i'm nearing a point of feeling a bit more freedom again, but it's an interesting dance i feel like i have to do and be mindful of. . .

okay enough blathering on.  events:

last night we enjoyed the Superbowl last night with friends from the UK. friends we had "just" gone out to our favorite Mexican restaurant with.  in OCTOBER!  To be honest it feels like it was just November, and it was just a weekend or two ago that Philip and I were watching Skyfall (last blogpost).  But it wasn't a weekend or two ago.  Some life has happened. . .  here's a bit of it. . .

we enjoyed a much-needed trip to the mountains in November for Thanksgiving and were blessed to have the opportunity not only to see Paul and Laura, but to also spend the holiday with David (Philip's brother), Josh & Sierra (my brother & sister in law who are now living in Colo. Springs) and my "adopted" Lere sister, Mindy.  Philip had just gotten back from being on the road for 6 weeks, so we didn't feel up to battling the crazy army of affluent travelers who were descending on Breckenridge to fight through the manufactured and quickly dwindling snow but savored every morsel of family time we could get. . .  the day after Thanksgiving I got my first internship interview invite - a HUGE relief (again, more details in a few weeks).

really the first part of nov was consumed with the last portion of internship application madness.  after november 15th i wasn't entirely sure what to do with myself.  i thought i'd be relieved, but i wasn't.  it was just more waiting.  and kind of feeling scared and helpless (similar to the waiting game i'm in right now between interviews and Match Day on feb 22).

philip had been at training for oct and the first half of nov.  some of it was pretty awesome stuff.  some of it was, well, as far from awesome as one could get.  we were excited to be reunited again and enjoyed the excitement and anticipation that was building in preparation for language school starting in dec.

this is what our giving thanks looked like in 2012:

Colorado.  every time i arrive it becomes harder and harder to leave.
i always feel like i can take a really deep breath in Colorado.  it's a beautiful thing.