um. . .

So I had my George Washington University interview this morning. The obvious question is "How did it go?"

Um. . . okay? I'm not sure? Not amazingly?

It was an incredibly intimidating process to be quite frank. Maybe not so much the process but certainly my interviewers were kind of intimidating. I'm not sure if this was just me/my experience/the individuals who interviewed me OR if it was a more universal experience that most people candidating for a competitive doctoral program experience. I'd like to think it's the latter but know it may actually be the first. I think that the military spouse thing may turn out to be a strike against me (which is their loss. . . military spouses bring to the table a wealth of cultural experience) and the thing that is feeling the weirdest is that my second interviewer zeroed in on the word "calling" in one of my application essays so started speculating what kind of religious undertones that particular word has and I think that I suddenly felt some defensiveness (even though he wasn't necessarily seeing it as a negative thing , I just always feel on the defensive with this issue --- to people in my faith community about my profession and to my profession about my faith). We'll see if they think I'm a fit or not. . . I'm trying not to replay the entire morning in my mind over and over again (but have yet to be successful in doing this).

The strange thing is that I walked away thinking, "I really hope this works. I would love to have the opportunity to go to school here, but if I can't I'm okay with that." That was definitely a God thing because this has been a hard thing to really release the "I really want" in regards to. The Lord knows if this is something that is personally and professionally right for Philip & I (because the GWU thing would mean added marriage sacrifice as I'd have to come to DC for school in Sept.) and He will shut and open doors - both with acceptance and assignment - as He deems appropriate.

So like so much else in my life right now (work stuff, assignment stuff and now GWU stuff) I'll know more at the very end of the month. Ugh. Waiting is hard.