Bad Thursday. Good Friday.

Yesterday I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It was the second day in a row that I found myself in stress-induced tears at work. Yesterday there was even some sobbing accompanying the tears. Not fun. *no need to fret or worry about me, I'm completely fine - just going through some pretty difficult stuff at work. . . hopefully it will all be more settled in a few weeks*

I was thinking on my drive home last night about no matter how horrendous my day felt how Christ has experienced all of the emotions of hurt, frustration, disapointment, loneliness and rejection that I feel in my life. No matter where I am, He's been there. My worst day will always pale in comparison to what Christ went through for me.

This is what I'm contemplating on Good Friday 2010. How deep the Father's love for us.

You see, I really believe that our familiarity with the gospel breeds a rather toxic sense of expectation and sometimes even entitlement in relation to Christ's sacrifice for our sin.

I was blessed with an incredible relationship with my earthly father. This has always been monumental in my faith. I can see how much my earthly father loves me and all that he has sacrificed for me in my lifetime. I am moved, humbled and sometimes brought to tears when I pause to consider the magnitude of what he has done: the hundreds of hours he spent driving me to the hospital and waiting for me in the waiting room, the financial sacrifices that he and my mother made so that I could have a private Christian education, the huge commitment he and my mom made to being consistent in their parenting as they reared my brother and I in a home that's foundation was solidly on Christ. I never did anything to deserve the father I have. I will never be able to repay him for what he has done in my life. I do try to live in an upright manner and make choices that would would bring joy to his heart and please him though. . . I understand that not everyone has the same kind of relationship with their earthly father. For many people, their relationship with their earthly father is actually a hurdle in really understanding how their Heavenly Father lives them.

HOWEVER, regardless of your relationship with your earthly father, I urge you this Easter to think of someone you love dearly. . . a parent, a spouse, a sibling. . . What if that person stepped forward to be abused, scorned, humiliated, scoffed, beaten and murdered in order that you could live? Imagine watching a family member being murdered knowing that it was your words, actions and choices that necessitated the execution. It's overwhelming to consider. Yet how often do we take Christ's sacrifice for granted? Daily?

One of my favorite movies is "Blackhawk Down." It is a very powerful film. When I watch it snuggled in my first lieutenant's strong arms, I can't help but feel a sense of pride in being Philip Lere's wife. There is a scene in the movie that makes me feel physically ill each time I watch it though. An American blackhawk helicopter is shot down and the pilot is killed. The scene that follows the crash is one that I find incredibly disturbing: a hoard of the enemy locals swarm to the scene, begin dancing on the crashed helo, drag the dead soldier's body out and parade it around in celebration. The body of a hero is mocked as it is passed over the heads of the enemy who stands cheering.

I can't help but think when I see this scene how horrendous it would be to know that happened to Philip or my dad or my brother. This man gave his life in order to protect others. Watching the death of this soldier makes me feel like vomiting, but do I ever become that disturbed when I consider the crucifixion for Christ? A death that was specifically for me? Perhaps even more startling to consider is the idea that I could be one in the crowd. . . after all it was the same people screaming "CRUCIFY HIM" on Friday that were singing "Hosanna, Glory to God in the Highest" on the Sunday before.

• I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

On the bad Thursdays, remember what He did on Friday: He overcame the world because you needed a Saviour. His death was specifically for and because of YOU.