responsibility

Responsibility. It's a very adult word. It's a very scary word.

The last few weeks we've been looking @ existentialism in my Cambridge class. In a nutshell, existentialism places focus on creating and finding meaning in life. There are many tenants of existentialism that I don't agree with as they fly in the face of my faith, yet the issues that existentialism raises are incredibly thought provoking.

I can't get something out of my head that we talked about tonight. We were discussing personal responsibility and freedom. These two inextricably-linked concepts are pretty powerful in and of themselves, but when you bring them into a discussion about mental illness things get mighty interesting. Responsibility is something that gets very tricky in clinical practice. There is this waltz of responsibility between patient, parent and clincian that can be very challenging. Patients often struggle to own responsibility. While an eating disorder is NOT a lifestyle choice (as many comissioners who are starting to restrict funding for treatment like to think), the ownership of responsibility can be incredibly complex. I did and said some very horrendous things when I was ill out of sheer desparation (like anyone else who has an addiction). Was it Joy or it was it illness-driven behavior?

I always explain to people that while they didn't choose to get ill that they always have a choice in participating in recovery. This occurs only as a person progresses through various stages of change. The reality is that in early stages of change a person is not ready to start changing if they don't acknowledge a problem or have any desire to change. The usual cycle of stages usually follows this kind of pattern: precontemplation (I don't have a problem), contemplation (Maybe I have a problem), Preparation (I think I may have a problem, what do I need to do to change), Action (I need to actively be making choices to change) and Maintenance (doing what you know needs to be done in order to sustain recovery). Asking a patient in precontemplation to do certain thing is like asking someone without legs to run, so a person must be patient HOWEVER none of us are ever absolved of personal responsibility in life. As a clinician it is my responsibility to be trained how to respond to patients in various stages of change but it is important that I don't allow anyone to function under the illusion that he or she is helpless.

My professor spoke about challenging people to follow statments about their own circumstances with, "and I take responsibility for that." I'm AMAZED by how powerful this is. And how true it is.

There are so many things in life that we like to become victims to, but the reality is that we have made choices that have brought (or kept) us in an uncomfortble situation. Take these common examples that have probably rung true with all of us at one time or another. . .

"I'm exhausted, and I take responsibility for that" (I haven't put margin in my life. I stayed up too late. I make choices about how to fill my time. I haven't chosen to spend enough of it sleeping.)
"I'm bored, and I take responsibility for that" (There are opportunities that I am choosing not to engage in)
"I'm lonely, and I take responsibility for that" (I am choosing not to interact with people in my life)
"I'm unhappy with my body, and I take responsibility for that" (I choose exactly what to eat/not eat and the level of physical activity I have *if you make an excuse about energy, refer back to the first sentence*)
"I'm unhappy with my job, and I take responsibility for that" (I chose my educational training, I choose whether or not to continue further training or training in an alternative field, I choose whether or not I want to look for another job)

Not easy stuff to sit with! We grow up craving responsibility but actually when you consider the weight of it - it can feel kind of uncomfortable, huh?

Now don't get me wrong, personal responsibility doesn't somehow trump God's soverignty. That's not what this is about. AT ALL! This is about each of us having a lot of choice in life. Freedom is a gift but it is a great responsibility to bare.

What do you need to own responsibility for in your life?

Remember that with Christ . . .
Contentment is always a choice.
Love is always a decision.
Joy is always an option.