acceptance / resignation

I talked on the phone with Philip tonight and finally resigned myself to the fact that I will not be back in the US on the 24th for two weddings of two of my jr. high / high school best friends (may sound a bit trivial but understand I'm from a small town - these people went to great lengths to be at our wedding and were  super close to me growing up so it feels like kind of a big deal).  After much anguish, guilt and tears, I've had to accept to the fact that I will be MIA for these important events.  I think part of me had been holding out hope and trying to come up with some outlandish way of getting to be in the US for the weddings and for a trip to CO with my family but no. . .  the practicalities of ending work a month early or spending $3000 on airfare [it happens to be The most expensive weekend of the year to fly from London to the US] didn't compute when we have $110,000 to pay to the order of  GWU in the next three years.  My cousin is getting married on the 14th of August so 2 trips is not in the cards.  Had the weddings been even a week closer together I could have swung it no problem, but no dice this time around (which doesn't sound quite right - I hope there is no second time around for any of these individuals' weddings. . .).

I came to accept that there was no hope of an early return while on skype with Philip tonight.  It turned out to be quite comical, actually. I was explaining to him a really outlandish way that I was scheming to be able to work out coming back for the weddings and trip to CO, coming back to the UK, going for the weekend of my cousin's wedding, coming back to the UK and finally going to DC at the end of the month.  I started by asking him,  "would I sound like a complete nutter if. . . . ?"  He burst out laughing and said, "nutter?  Wow, I am sure going to miss your 'talking British'." He then was politely and respectfully honest about confirming that actually I would be crazy to pursue my "plan" to finagle two trips to and from MN in the matter of 3 weeks. 

Love it.  It will be sad when all of the words and phrases that have become so natural to me begin to slowly grow extinct from my vocabulary (it may only take a couple of times of people in the US looking at me like "what did you just say?!?!?!" for me to really be conscious of what I'm saying or how I'm saying it).  I do plan on doing a blog entry on the second language ability that I have acquired whilst in the UK before I actually depart.

Yes, I am a nutter (translation:  crazy person).  Always will be.