half way there or living on a prayer?

the end of the semester is soon here, though i definitely don't have the "half way there" relief going on yet - continuing to live on a prayer.  okay, lots and lots of prayers.  lots.  seriously, just when i think there's light at the end of the tunnel something else overwhelming crops up.  ugh.  boo.  though i'm thankful that i slaved over my huge paper when i did.  i'm definitely feeling sorry for my classmates who waited to write the majority of what is due tomorrow tonight.  wow, i cannot live that way.  over this last year especially my way of managing anxiety has been dealing with things as early as possible.  that still hasn't spared me a lot of emotional turmoil and stress this semester but at least it hasn't felt like having hot coals heaped on top of the other difficult stuff.

one of my classmates posted this on facebook today:  graduate school barbie.  oh my word.  BRILLIANT.

last weekend was philip's squadron Christmas party.  lots of fun.  i'm really hoping and praying that in the next week or so I can really feel some rest/relief from the semester winding down so that I can fully enjoy this season.  this is my favorite favorite favorite time of year.  i'm want to be able to soak it all in. . . except that right now my sponge is saturated (despite the fact that I constantly feel "wrung out").

i know that i will look back at this year and marvel at what my classmates and I survived..  i'm fairly certain it will be a period in my life that i won't ever wish to repeat but I will probably look back on it fondly (maybe not this semester or maybe not even this year but the overall experience for sure). One of the postdocs in our program commented "wow, you couldn't pay me to go back to what you guys are going through - it's absolutely horrendously awful - I can see it in all of your faces, but I PROMISE things in your career get better and so much easier"  I really hope so. . . but right now all I can think is getting through the program.

it's really crazy to think that a year from now i'll be receiving my invitation and rejection letters for internship interviews (really THIS is the thing that underlies ALL of the stress in the program. . .).  crazy.