Happy Veteran's Day

VETERAN:   someone, who at one point in their life, wrote a blank check payable to the United States of America for

an amount up to, and including, their life.

A few days ago, one of my fav bloggers, Jenny, (fellow AF wife and Northwestern alum. . . we actually lived in the same hall on the same floor my second year at Northwestern. . . the stresses and joys of military life have definitely forged a bond the last couple of years and I love love love reading her blog - she's a fab writer and has the SWEETEST little girl ---- sometimes looking at pictures/video of other peoples' kids is boring. . . I mean let's be honest. . .  TOTALLY not that way w/ Jenny/Travis/Bella - I probably get equally as excited as family when video of Bella is posted. . . stalkerish I know.  I figure we went to school together so it's quasi okay ;) started a 30 day photo challenge.  It's just a fun, silly thing. I love looking @ other peoples' pictures so I'll give it a shot (I have altered the order a bit in order to arrange for getting some pictures in MN when we're visiting my parents for Thanksgiving. . .).  I welcome ANY suggestions for good photo ideas to replace lame ones (and really think YOU should start blogging so that I can stalk YOUR pictures)

day 1. your facebook profile photo
day 2. a photo of yourself a year ago
day 3. a photo that makes you happy
day 4. a photo of the last place you went on holiday
day 5. a photo of you
day 6. a photo that makes you laugh
day 7. a photo of someone you love
day 8. a photo of your favourite band/musician (looking for a replacement for this, I think it's lame)
day 9. a photo of your family
day 10. a photo of you as a baby
day 11. a photo of your favourite film(s) (also kind of lame. . . we'll see)
day 12. a photo of you
day 13. a photo of you that your hair looks nice in
day 14. a photo of one of your favourite family members
day 15. a photo of you and someone you love

day 16. a photo of you at the last party you went to

day 17. a drunk photo of you

day 18. a photo of one of your classes

day 19. a photo of you on a school trip

day 20. a photo of something you enjoy doing

day 21. a photo of you standing up

day 22. a photo of your town

day 23. a photo of your friend as a baby

day 24. a photo of your best friend(s)
day 25. a photo of a night you loved
day 26. a photo of your favorite weekend
day 27. a photo of last summer
day 28. a photo of what you ate today
day 29. a photo of someone you find attractive
day 30. a photo of you when you were happy

Appropriately, the above is my Veteran's Day fb picture and status update.  I probably will remember this Veteran's Day for a long time.  Philip and I went on a date tonight (Uno Chicago --- a place I now LOVE. . . kind of like a really healthy/nice applebees) compliments of a Veteran's Day buy-one-entree-get-one-free special for active duty and retired miltiary.  I was excited.  We hadn't had a sit down date. . . well that wasn't Chipotle. . . probably since last fall. . .

It was wonderful. . .  but not easy.  We're realizing how incredibly difficult the school/military reality is going to be in terms of separation and having to make some pretty big decisions about the future.  We've been confronted with the stark reality that that we may have to make some pretty tough choices in order to avoid the very possibly/probable reality of separation bleeding into 2+ consecutive years if we continue on some of the trajectories we've been considering for the last few years.  It's so hard.  Tonight there were tears (mine).  It was draining. 

Neither of us had any clue how hard marriage would be. . .  how hard military marriage would be. . . but we are resting in the arms of the Soverign Father as we look for direction as to the path we are supposed to take as we press forward.  We know we are supposed to be where we are right now but everything beyond the reality of a deployment-laden tour ahead of us is really uncertain. . .

I have been blessed.  I feel overhwhelmed.  However, if there are any of you who are under some illusion that we have magically been given this glamorous life of European traveling, a promising military career and unbelievable educational opportunity I can promise you that our life is as real (read unglamorous and challenging) as anyone walking down the street.  We can put on a brave face and brush under the rug the difficulty of separation.  We can share pictures of the elation and joy of reunion and celebration in our life.  But sometimes I worry that people get the wrong idea. . . because the truth is there often aren't cameras capturing pain and struggles in life.  Some people go to great extents to put on a charade that those things don't exist.  Just want to be clear that I am not one of those people.

I think that for most of my life, it has been easy for many people to see the seemingly-wonderful on-the-surface exterior but few have had a front row seat to the pain, blood, sweat and tears (those who have had those seats will tell you it hasn't been a pretty show).  I'm not a martyr or a victim, but I want to reassure you that I am real.  I struggle.  I cry.  I feel insecure.  I worry.  I face dissapointment.  I feel loss.  I am in a real marriage living in a real world. 

I always find beauty and am drawn to people who are willing to be transparent and honest.  I appreciate being around people who makes me feel like it's okay to be human and imperfect because they are comfortable in their own imperfect self.  That is the kind of person I want to be.

So, while I won't take a picture of the mascara/tear stained uniform shirt that my husband is now wearing as he sits at his computer reveling in the American joys of Pandora radio, I want you to trust me.  I am no different than you are.  I'm just the girl next door.  And you're welcome to stop by any time. . . I just don't promise that things will always be tidy.
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.  Hebrews 10:23