Tuesday I went to London to Guy's and St. Thomas Hospital for a body image conference. It was very interesting and very useful. I got to know a mental health nurse from Leicester who works on a mental health ward with a couple of ED beds and and a psychiatrist from London who works with obesity cases. The speaker for the day was phenomenal.
I decided that I could definitely manage commuting to London (hey, less time in the car). I took the train from Ely, changed to the underground line at King's Cross and made my way across the city to the London Bridge area. During lunch I had an hour to explore the area. The sunshine was WONDERFUL (we've had a pretty cold, dreary spell here and it's been quite awhile since anything has resembled summer) as I explored the gem of an area that lies along the River Thames: Borough Market.
Well, it's been another week gone with no news. Laying in bed last night, despondent, I realized that the last few months has marked a low and difficult place that I haven't experienced in a long time. I pray to God that it is soon over because I am so very weary.
Today I walked away from another stressful scenario trying not to break down in tears like a fool over some silly (but really maddening and time consuming) military/British tax bureaucratic paperwork thing I was trying to sort out on base (one of those normal life annoyances. . . they happen - especially during deployments - but they just are harder to bounce back from when life is colored by the stress of this assignment stuff constantly playing on my mind). I feel like I've had "one of those days" for about the last several months. Computer and camera gone missing. $1000 car repairs. $300 car repairs on the car that I borrowed while our car was being fixed (yeah, I was returning my house guest to our friends' house on my last morning of having the van and a vehicle bolted by me on a tiny road I NEVER drive on and smashed the mirror --- no big deal, right. . . turns out it was). Military/UK paperwork/tax annoyance. Work being desperately draining. Trying to be honest and connected with Philip while still trying to censor my stress/reassure him that I'm completely fine and that I love military life (both of which are 110% true) and that really I think things will be easier and I'll be more mentally together when we find out about assignment. Hiccups in setting up my student account online at GW.
In each of these areas the Lord has been faithful and I have so much that I am grateful for. I want THAT to be my focus. His amazing provision, protection and peace. Life could be a bazillion times harder right now. I'm not complaining as I have NOTHING to complain about but I do want to state for the record that I'm tired. Really really tired.
I really appreciated a post that my former NWC hallmate and fellow military wife Jenny posted today. She shared this C.S. Lewis quote:
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
Like Jenny, I found a real sense of relief in this reminder. I'm not going to feel at ease or satisfied in this life. School or no school. There's always going to be an ache of incompletion until eternity.
2 comments:
glI also like that quote that Jenny shared. While we are to be content, and faithful during our days, it is good to be reminded that we are only passing through and shouldn't take our days on this earth too seriously. Our heavenly home is being prepared for us.....are we yearning for that place?
Just wondering - did you have sunshine and water for lunch on your day trip to London? (Referring to a previous Facebook post from one of your FB friends). Glad you found the conference to be worthwhile.
no i had two bites of a a really nasty salad (I miss America. I was really hungry for subway but made myself give up on finding one after about 40 minutes) and 3 apples and a big frappucinnio. bliss. . .
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